I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Randomize
