went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I think people are normalizing furries
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
