and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
