I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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