its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
