...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
