Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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