we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Randomize
