We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
