apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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