i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
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