No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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