Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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