I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
