is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
