I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
