So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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