Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
