I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
