now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
