3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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