They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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