he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
