i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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