You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
