he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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