Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
