I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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