Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
