Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
