Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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