Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
