maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
