11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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