There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
this will be a night to untag.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
