we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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