I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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