Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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