11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
where does the pee come out of this thing
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
