Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
