trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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