I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
