well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I think I just sharted jello shots
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