we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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