But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
