me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
