i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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