ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
