Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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