the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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