that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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