goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
