I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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