i already hear my dad disowning me
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
