Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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