it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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