Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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